did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
