i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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