i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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