I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize