I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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