one might say we're banned from that church
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
