woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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