I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So apparently I’m into choking now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
