Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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