I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He called his prostate his "boner button".
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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