I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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