I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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