dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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