he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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