Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
