idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He uses pillows to masturbate.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
