I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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