u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
