Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
