he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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