Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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