yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
