I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
