Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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