This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
