I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
