new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
