ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
