Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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