she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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