my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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