Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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