Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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