So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
