so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Fuck appropriateness.
it was like eating out sand paper
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
