I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
