I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
