But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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