She's JV to your varsity
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
