Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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