I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
