His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
No stitches, just platelets and will power
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
sex in a hospital.. check
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
