It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
