you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
