I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
