Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
