had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it penis luge time yet?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize