So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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