I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
