And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
