i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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