My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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