He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
