the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
