Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
