Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
