and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
