fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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