I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I should be sponsored by Trojan
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
