A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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