girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
