Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
