and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
