Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
