Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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