you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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