This girl is more easily done than said...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
