Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
