OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
