She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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